About our delicious ‘Wonderland’ meal at MONKITAIL in the Diplomat Beach Resort in Hollywood.

 We were late (traffic), so our lovely friends were waiting for us at the bar which directly faces both the impressive entrance of the Diplomat and the eastern resort side.  After formalities, Executive Chef Christian R. Rassinoux came to meet and welcome us to MONKITAIL.   Photo Opt time.

Thankfully in spite of our lateness our Monkitail hostess showed us to our center table in the very dimly lit restaurant. Black table tops, dark floors and limited all-around lighting was like falling through the Rabbit Hole. Table seating was a challenge.  You know, who should be seated next to whom.  Seated, we were handed our multi-itemed, dark-paged menu.  Our table seated eight and had only one very tiny candle in the center, so out came all of the cell phones.  It was like a flood lights Gala opening at Grauman’s ChineseTheatre.  I was blinded by the cell phones lights in this dark restaurant.

Where to wash my hands? The young charming hostess told me she would guide me to the restroom.  Why?  Many left turns.  Heaven forbid you would be in a rush, you’d never make it.  I wondered if she guided all of the patrons or was it just me?  Did I look like I would get lost? When I came back, everyone was still holding their flashlight phones and still had those puzzled looks concerning the amazingly complicated (through the looking glass), menus they were holding. By this time the restaurant was filling up with millennials.  Our group of ‘been there, done that’ seasoned adults really didn’t belong there.

After almost (seriously) 30 minutes, of frustration we finally had to order something.  I don’t think any of us knew what we had ordered. Pavlo our waiter kept on explaining about getting one of these and two of those but most of us just didn’t get it.  

Our personal experience has been NO SHARING.  Inevitably, when sharing, someone will pay for something they didn’t order (us), and someone will get more than their share or not pay at all.   So we ordered 2 glasses of white wine rather than order the usual full bottle of wine for dinner.  Unfortunately our glasses were barely one third full for $14 each.   So petty on the part of the restaurant.

Our morsel of fois gras was burned, no not toasted but burned, disappointing and expensive.  My limited portion of Sea bass with a couple of beans was delicious and RG’s Steak was also juicy and enjoyable but it was barely the size of an appetizer. Total cost, about $150 for two small meals. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying sushi that would have been less than half the price anywhere else.   Our lovely events/evening planner L.B. was very vocal about stating that her KOBE beef was the best ever. 

I have to laugh because this was like a very costly dip onto the Alice’s EAT ME-DRINK ME table. No lights and a crazy menu into a monkey’s tale? Sadly we needed to leave